Finding Myself Again

It took a lot to write this post, to put my feelings out in front on me, and it took even more to press that publish button. I’ve always been a quiet person, and quiet with my feelings. So I felt very apprehensive about this post and to be honest, still do. But here it is, out there in the universe. Which means, here I am, out there in the universe too...

It’s been quite a year. A year full of saddness yet joy. A year full of grief yet hope. A year full of fog yet pure clarity. My father passed away about 14 months ago, a week after finding out we were pregnant with Jacob. It was without a doubt, the hardest year of my life mixed with the excited emotions of meeting our son.

Through all of this, my life became consumed with grief, the logistics of being an executor, preparing for a baby and taking care of a toddler. And I lost myself. I forgot the things that excite me, I forgot my interests and passions. I forgot to take care of me.

Now that I am past the newborn fog and I have been able to slowly deal with my Dad’s passing, I am trying to find myself again. I don’t feel like I’m fully back to myself by any means; it’s a work in progress. But I am working on it and THAT is what matters. For me, finding myself has meant:

Re-introducing myself with things that I love - writing. I have always loved writing and this blog has been an amazing way for me to get back into it. Writing is a way for me to be creative and it gives me an outlet to share pieces of myself.

Being active - Through the fall I had set goals for myself to get back into running and to run two 5km runs. Both of which I did! Yet, I have had trouble continuing this goal once the snow fell. I am so happy with this starting point and I am working on finding more ways to continue this active living.

Taking time for myself - This looks different at different times of the day or different times of the week. Sometimes, it’s honestly just lighting a candle and watching Netflix. Other times, it is getting out of the house to see friends or go shopping. Whatever the case, it has been so important for me to do these things and I am so lucky to have a supportive family that pushes me to make it happen!

I hope that whoever’s reading this can take away from this post how important it is to take care of yourself - for this post to be that reminder for you. I have been thinking about what flight attendants say on a plane: you need to put your own oxygen mask on first before putting on anyone else’s. As is the case in life, you can’t take care of anyone else unless you, yourself are okay.

Lots of love and take care of yourself,